When The Shit Gets Shitty

You know when you’re having one of those days when life is just being a bit of a dick to you?

Yeah, that day’s been running for a few months at this stage, like some sort of time-travel of something. I am in Groundhog Day  and don’t even have the joy of putting up some snow.

Last blog-post, did a video game review thingy; this means I haven’t written a shit in…three and a half months. As a guy who wants to write shit, that counts as a fail, doesn’t it? I did publish a short story, The Shortest Night, but even I wasn’t all that happy with it (because, you know, I have dumb standards of myself. Go read it here and make that decision for yourself: The Shortest Night.

It feels like summer 2017 has been a bit of a prick to me, and for no reason in particular: summers have been shit for the last few years anyway. I realised a few weeks ago that I’ve hated summer for the last few years; too much holiday bullshit, too much sun, too much warmth, too much humidity. That type of summer…nah, it’s all fake, all some stupid pretentious fake bullshit like you’re pretending that life is alright because it’s too warm and too sunny and you can’t see shit because the sun is right in your eyes.

Yeah, that’s bullshit.

Summer: that time when you can’t really go on any sort of holiday because everything’s so fucking expensive; that time when you can’t get a good night’s kip because it’s so warm and generally stupidly humid; that time when everyone else thinks life is so amazing to them (probably because the sun works for them far better than it does for you.)

Summer 2017 for me got a bit of food poisoning, and a bit of a sinus thing (that’s still running about three weeks later.) It gets an MRI and the results of it (yeah, I fucking hate MRIs, even more what the response is “Oh hey, yeah, you’re not entirely fixed, even though you’ve always known you never will be, but hey, you’re still here, aren’t you?”

Yep, that’s been this summer for me, one of torture and weird thoughts about nothing (and everything) that have no meaning whatsoever.

Welcome to September; hope you don’t mind all the shit stuff it wants to throw your way.

It’s actually only been in the last few days that everything is stating to make sense again; get your MRI scan results (and that annoying far-too-warm-and-dry summer fucks off) so now I can focus on the good things. Like going on holidays in a few weeks; like it being Christmas and Halloween soon.

So…yeah, this was a shit summer.

But fuck that shit, I’m going to Disneyland.

 

 

 


Also published on Medium.

  • Jolene Haley

    Don’t be so hard on yourself! Your story is flipping awesome and you are awesome. I’m proud of your story and so thankful that you participated. I hope your fall is better! <3

    • Ken

      Thanks Jolene. Really happy with it, don’t worry about it; just when you’ve been away from writing for a while, I doubt myself. Need to get back to writing way way more than I have been.